My New Year’s resolution is to wash my face every night.
My New Year’s resolution is to be brave.
I don’t mean cliff diving/rock climbing/swimming with sharks brave; I mean internally brave. Vulnerable. Living in NYC has made my outer shell even more thick and crusty than before. This place hardens you to the gritty urban world and the people living in it. (New York is not a place to make yourself vulnerable intentionally.)
I started this blog to write about DIY projects, paper and felt crafts, and mid-century vintage things. Which is basically what I’ve been doing for the past couple of years. But this voice in my head (the good kind) has been nagging me to write about feelings and life choices. The real shit. I need to let the real out. Scary! But regret is worse than fear…
So in 2015 I wish for the courage to tell the truth to myself and others. For the bravery to do the right thing. And for the boldness to tell others what I like about them and reveal to my friends how special I think they are. To start off the year with the truth about me, here is my real:
I sometimes hate parenting. It sucks the life force out of me. I don’t treat my kids like they are special. I treat them like they are annoying, which they are most of the time. They are cool sometimes, and then we get along. I’m on a “sub-therapeutic” (aka smallish) dose of antidepressant/anti-anxiety medication. Better living through chemistry! I smoke pot. I get Botox. I worry you don’t like me. My roommate in college called me caustic, which is true more often than I’d like it to be. A woman I’ve worked with for nearly 15 years labeled me wacky in her holiday card this year. Something deep down inside tells me it’s wrong to be wacky (even though I totally am). It stung a bit.
I am a coward. I am brave. We are not just one thing. Life is messy. But it’s richer and more fun to live in the real.
I challenge you, dear reader, to be courageous. Share a secret fact about yourself. A little-known treasure, if you will. I want you to be brave, too.
Oh, and Happy New Year.